


Belong

by fauxtales



Series: Becoming Human Again [8]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ice Cream, Jealousy, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Recovery, but not in the way you expect, implied PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxtales/pseuds/fauxtales
Summary: Isa doesn’t really like the crowds. Though they may be small, it is enough to make him nervous. The press of bodies and the closeness of people feels stifling, while at the same time Isa feels like an outsider. He is not a part of their world. He doesn’t deserve to be a part of their world. After trying to destroy it, what redemption can there be for him?
Relationships: Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Becoming Human Again [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890835
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Belong

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“You’ve waited all of fifteen minutes.”

The pout on Lea’s face is absolutely adorable. A smile tugs at Isa’s lips and he licks at his ice cream to try to cover it up. Lea is too busy talking to notice anyway. “Fifteen minutes is a long time when you have a craving! Isa, it felt like I was dying.”

That earns Lea a startled laugh. “You’re not going to die just because you don’t get ice cream the second you want it!” The warmth in Isa’s voice betrays his affection and Lea takes advantage. He leans in, that obnoxious smile on his face as he leans his head on Isa’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, I might.”

The town around them bustles on, unaware of their banter. Twilight Town is never what could be called “busy” but the late afternoon is the closest it gets. Teenagers and kids finally freed from school for the day rush through the courtyards, while their parents wander leisurely behind. People are either on their way home from work or running errands. The occasional street vendor can be heard above the background noise, but even they are so well known to the town it is hardly noted. Most raised voices are people calling out to passing friends or family; a small tight knit community of people going about their lives without concern for the rest of the world.

It feels so foreign to Isa, even now. He’s lived here for nearly a year now, been a part of this bustle on occasion; admittedly, he still tends to avoid going out at this time of day. He doesn’t really like the crowds. Though they may be small, it is enough to make him nervous. The press of bodies and the closeness of people feels stifling, while at the same time Isa feels like an outsider. He is not a part of their world. He doesn’t deserve to be a part of their world. After trying to destroy it, what redemption can there be for him?

Lea doesn’t seem to have the same misgivings. Even now, as they remain huddled on the side of the road, out of the way and almost out of sight of the main road, Lea calls out greetings to people he knows. Lea has become a part of this world, has made a point to meet people and make sure they remember him. Not that Lea has ever been anything but memorable, but his old desire for being remembered by as many people as possible seems to cling to him in adulthood as well. Someone waves to Lea, asks how his plants are doing. Isa steps in a bit closer as Lea calls back a response.

It’s remarkable, really. Lea’s ability to blend in. One would think his hair and height would make him stand out more, make people wary of this strange, tall, fiery man. Instead it seems that Lea can make himself belong anywhere, can fold himself into the perfect shape to make people trust him. Make them happy to see him. They act as if they’ve known Lea their entire lives, as if he grew up in Twilight Town rather than appearing out of nowhere barely a year ago. It’s a remarkable skill. It’s why he was the Organization’s assassin. No one expects the personable, nice, if slightly sarcastic lanky redhead. He made invading worlds and destabilizing them look so easy.

“Your ice cream is melting.” Lea’s voice cuts into Isa’s thoughts. He realizes with a jolt that he can feel the melting ice cream sticky on his fingers and quickly moves to lick it away. As much as he appreciates the taste of ice cream, he will never understand Lea’s obsession with it for this exact reason; it’s far too messy. Lea’s laugh is soft and knowing. He tilts his head to the side, the crooked smile on his face gentle. “You’re overthinking everything again.”

Isa doesn’t respond right away. He uses the excuse of cleaning ice cream from his hand to take his time, gather his thoughts. But what is there to gather? Lea is right; he’s getting lost in his head, thinking about all the reasons why he doesn’t belong here and doesn’t deserve such a simple life. It’s a conversation they’ve had hundreds of times now - and likely will have hundreds more - but he doesn’t really want to have it again now. He just wants Lea to get him out of his head for a bit.

“I’m fine.” It’s a dismissal and they both know it. Lea studies him for a moment, clearly trying to decide how much he wants to believe him. In the end, he doesn’t push any farther. “I was just thinking about how good you are at making friends, is all. It seems like you know every other person on the street.”

That brightens Lea back up. He rubs at the back of his neck, clearly pleased while playing up being embarrassed at the complement. “Nah, hardly. I mean, sure, I know a lot of people, but none of them are that close. I just talk a lot is all.”

“Oh, I know,” Isa says, a slight smirk on his face. He glances up at Lea, a teasing glint in his eye. “You never really shut up, no matter what I do.”

The indignant look on Lea’s face is hilarious. Isa takes another bite of his ice cream and lets Lea get as falsely offended as he wants. It’s all a show, familiar teasing that lingers from when they were kids and knew nothing of the horrors of the world. They both know this. Perhaps that’s why they cling to it so tightly.

“I do too shut up! Sometimes!” Lea is saying, animated as always. His hands gesture wildly as he talks, every motion slightly larger than it has to be. Another remnant, but this time from being a Nobody. “But I have a lot to say, yknow! And if you really didn’t find it interesting you wouldn’t bother to let me carry on. Either that or you just tune me out anyway, so it’s not like it even really matters. And you know, I’ve gotten a lot quieter since coming back. It should probably concern you, actually, mister stoic silence. I’ll be quiet for like, a whole hour, and you won’t even be worried!”

Isa rolls his eyes. It is true that Lea has gotten quieter since coming back. It’s more like how he was as Axel in a way, but a much more comfortable version. Perhaps it is just because Lea is an adult now; they were teenagers when they lost their hearts, so of course they’d be different now. It does concern Isa, sometimes. When Lea lapses into sudden silences, just staring out the window as if seeing something that isn’t there. A different world, perhaps. A grey world. That’s what Isa sees, sometimes. When he thinks too hard about how he doesn’t belong in this world, this golden twilight world. It’s too warm.

“I’m worried when it’s worrying,” Isa says. He reaches up with his thumb to wipe away a bit of ice cream at the corner of Lea’s mouth. He doesn’t think about the gesture, but Lea’s face gets nearly hot enough to burn. Isa smiles. “But you’re an adult now. I hear adults are capable of being quiet for longer periods of time.”

“We both know that’s not true for me,” Lea says and Isa laughs. He’s right, of course. No matter how old Lea gets, he won’t really calm down. That fire that lives under his skin flickers too brightly for him to do anything else. That energy has to go somewhere. Isa would prefer it go to talking rather than thinking about the past. If only he could figure out how to do such a thing himself.

“I’m jealous,” Isa says, the words falling from his lips before the thought has fully formed. Lea blinks at him in surprise. They both know that Isa is a jealous person - they’ve seen proof of that enough in how he treated Roxas and Xion as Saïx - but he tends to avoid admitting it. Avoid thinking about it. Talking about it usually makes a lump form in his throat. Somehow, that isn’t the case this time.

“...Of?”

“You.” It’s so simple. Such a small little thing. Isa feels lighter somehow for admitting it. “You can make friends so easily. You’re similar to the Keyblade Champion - ah… Sora, that way. I know you, so I know you’re still hiding a lot, but even so you manage to be so… open. Inviting. You can talk to anyone, for no reason, and they feel comfortable with you.” Isa glances up at Lea, then back down at his ice cream. “I’m jealous of that.”

Silence stretches between them. Isa takes another bite of his ice cream, trying not to be reminded of the tense silences that used to characterize their relationship, the impassable chasm that had opened up between them. It makes him nervous. He doesn’t dare look back to Lea to see his expression. Instead, he focuses on the taste of sea salt ice cream in his mouth. The texture of it as it melts on his tongue. The warmth of the late summer air on his skin. The sound of the town passing them by, unaware of their struggles and their trauma.

Finally, Isa feels Lea’s hand sliding into his. It’s slightly sticky - Lea had been using that hand to hold his melting ice cream - but Isa doesn’t mind. He gives Lea’s hand a squeeze and feels the gesture returned.

“Yknow, you’re always welcome to come out with me to see people,” Lea offers. Isa isn’t sure about that, but Lea doesn’t give him time to respond. “I know you struggle with crowds and still feel like you don’t belong here. I get it. I feel like that sometimes too. I mean, I kinda spied on most of the people here for years before ever living here for real. But… Well, you do belong. This is home now. Regardless of where we are, as long as we’re together, we’ll belong somewhere. Right?”

The look on Lea’s face makes Isa’s chest tight. It is so earnest and gentle, yet there is still a sliver of doubt there, as Lea all but declares Isa his home. Isa may not have yet recovered from feeling like an outsider in the world, but Lea still hasn’t fully recovered from Saïx’s treatment of him. It breaks Isa’s heart, to think that he is the one who instilled this doubt in the person he cares about above all else, that he is the reason Lea is unsure if Isa belongs to him. Isa rises up on his toes, leaning in to press a reassuring kiss to the corner of Lea’s mouth. Then he smiles, soft and reassuring and grateful.

“Right. I belong with you. I guess that’s something.”

Lea’s smile is still slightly sad, but maybe that’s okay. They’re both always going to be a little sad, probably. Isa has accepted that, even if he doesn’t really like it. It’s unavoidable at this point. But as he presses his lips to Lea’s again in a kiss that is sticky and salty and oh so sweet, Isa thinks that this really is where he belongs. All the rest will fall into place later. For now, he’s going to kiss his partner while their impulse ice cream melts in their hands and the rest of the world melts away.

Isa would rather belong right here than anywhere else.


End file.
